Breath Of Life
by Sheone
Summary: Sirius Black is a young wizard whose outlook on life has been tainted by his emotionally abusive family. He is fervent to continue school so he can escape his demanding parents and become his destiny...
1. Invasion of Privacy

Disclaimer: Harry Potter & all related stuff © J.K. Rowling, Warner Bros & some other peoples. Not me. I only worship them. A lot.  
  
It was an ordinary day in London on August 8th, 1975. The sun was starting to set on the homes of Grimmauld Place, but the air was still just as stiff and stuffy as it had been at noon.  
Sirius Black, a fifteen-year-old wizard with dark hair and blue eyes, was lying on his stomach, spread-eagle across his bed. His cheek lay squished into his pillow, and he lay quite still, glaring at the door.  
Sirius's room was not so run of the mill. The once dark oak that covered the floors and door was now aged and a dingy sort of black; the walls (though covered with posters of a few bands and Quidditch teams) were a dark grey, and there were black curtains blocking out the last remaining sunlight of the day. A large trunk filled with a cauldron, broomstick, school robes, and spell books lay carelessly open in the middle of the floor, and his owl Circe was nibbling on some treats in her cage on the desk.  
Sirius sighed and rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. Today had been just as bad as every other day so far in the five weeks he'd spent away from Hogwarts. His mother had just found out (after finding his Hogwarts school list stashed away in his room) that Sirius had changed his list of courses. He'd dropped out of Astronomy (having aced his advanced class finals) and added Care of Magical Creatures.  
"I AM NOT ALLOWING YOU TO BE IN THAT MUGGLE'S CLASS!" his mother had shrieked at him when he'd come back into his room and found her snooping through his stuff.  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?" Sirius had yelled back. They both hollered at each other for about half an hour, both screaming different arguments, and neither of them listening to what the other was saying. The fight ended abruptly; Mrs. Black decided that she'd had enough and walked out of the room as if Sirius had vanished.  
Sirius hated how his mother was like that. She knew that Professor Kettleburn, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, was a Muggle born wizard, and that was the only thing she had against him. Sirius knew him to be a very popular member of the staff at Hogwarts. He was tired of being forced into classes he hated and wanted more time to spend with his best friends in the more interesting lessons.  
Sirius sat up slowly, pushed his hair out of his eyes, and looked groggily around his room. He'd been lying on his bed ever since the row with his mum, wishing he was off somewhere else.  
"DISGRACEFUL! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE DISGUSTED IN MY LIFE! OVER MY DEAD BODY WILL THAT BOY BE TAUGHT BY SOME FILTHY MUDBLOOD!" came his mother's screeches from downstairs. Mr. Black had obviously just arrived home, and his wife had started to rant to him about how frustrated she was with their son. Sirius knew she was only yelling as loudly as she was so that he'd be able to hear her.  
Sirius let out a frustrated sigh and went to sit at his desk. He picked up a quill that lay next to his sliver inkbottle and twirled it round in his fingers. He decided to write a letter to his best friend, James Potter.  
Sirius pulled a fresh piece of parchment out of the top drawer of his desk, loaded his quill with the metallic ink, and started to write:  
'Prongs -  
'Mum's gone berserk, again. I found her going through my room, and she saw my Hogwarts papers and blew up when she noticed I changed my Astrology course to Magical Creatures. I need to get the hell away from this entire fucking family. 'Anyways, what's new? How was New Zealand? Are your parents doing all right? Owl me back the second you get this, okay? I can only be entertained by Moony's babble about classes and Wormtail's pointless conversations for so long. Life/summer is dull, -- Padfoot.'  
Sirius sighed again, folded up the letter, and sealed it in an envelope. He retrieved Circe from her cage and carefully tied the note to the owl's leg, gave her a few encouraging strokes on the back, and then set her down on the window ledge and opened the window for her.  
Circe flew gracefully out the window, and Sirius watched until she vanished amidst the clouds. He left the curtains open a few inches so his room was a little bit brighter, and collapsed on his bed again. After maybe only a few seconds peace, Sirius hear loud, dragging footsteps coming towards his room at the end of the hall. Sirius sat up immediately. There was one brief knock; the door opened, and in came Sirius's younger brother, Regulus. Regulus had the same dark hair as Sirius, but it was slightly shorter, and his eyes were brown.  
"What do you want?" Sirius said tonelessly.  
"Mum wants to see you in the drawing room," Regulus said, with the air of someone who was awaiting an exciting fight.  
Sirius slowly crawled off his bed and straightened up. "Congratulations, Reg," Sirius said, stretching his arms in the air and forcing a yawn. "You've succeed in letting your parents order you around more than they do Kreacher." Sirius smirked and walked out of his room, being careless to let his shoulder smack into his brothers.  
Sirius walked leisurely down to flights of stairs to the first flooring, and entered the high-ceilinged drawing room. His father was sitting at his writing desk, hands folded together, looking sternly at Sirius as he entered. Mrs. Black stood next to her husband, fists balled at her sides, her face set and ready for another row.  
Sirius took a few steps into the room, folded his arms, and looked expectantly at his parents.  
"You switched your courses without our consent," Mr. Black said dryly, glancing at his wife, then back to Sirius. "Is there any reasoning behind this?"  
"Yeah, of course there is," Sirius shrugged.  
Mr. Black raised an eyebrow and waited for his son to continue. When Sirius said nothing, he said, "And that would be.?"  
"I've finished with Astronomy."  
"You're only in fifth year, Sirius!" Mr. Black said, trying to stay calm and keep reasonable.  
"I've been taking advanced classes for two years!" Sirius said angrily, his voice raising. "I don't need to take N.E.W.T's for it - I've finished!"  
"Even so!" Mr. Black said, his voice matching Sirius's volume. "You should have consulted with us before you went off and chose some foolish, pointless class! You could've taken another advance class to get yourself further ahead!"  
"I - don't - need - any more!" Sirius yelled. "It's my life! I should get to choose what I want!"  
"I am not going to watch you destroy your life and the family name more than you already have!" cried Mrs. Black.  
"FUCK THE FAMILY NAME!" Sirius roared, getting ready to just turn around and leave the room.  
"DO NOT SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT!" Mr. Black shouted, shooting out of his seat and pounding a fist on the desk.  
Sirius shot daggers at his father, breathing heavily, his hand itching to reach into his robes and grab his wand.  
"You are to change your Care of Magical Creatures course to something more respectable," Mr. Black said, "end of story."  
"Fine, I will," Sirius lied. "Is that all?"  
Mr. Black stared crossly at Sirius and took his seat again. He straightened the papers that already lay neatly on his desk, and then nodded.  
Sirius shot a quick glare at his mother before turning on his heal, and walking out the door. He grabbed the serpent-shaped handle and shut the door, a satisfying slam now echoing down the hall. He sauntered down the stairs, fuming, and stumbled into the kitchen.  
Kreacher, the Black Family house elf, was tending to the fire under the cauldron. He shot Sirius a wide-eyed look as he entered.  
"Piss off, you little runt," Sirius snapped as he walked towards the pantry. Kreacher suspiciously slipped something under his loincloth, and scurried off. Sirius advanced on the pantry, opened it, and looked at his selection. He turned his nose in disgust and settled for grabbing a package of cauldron cakes. Sirius shut the pantry and was about to go back up to his room, but decided to check up on what was bubbling away in the cauldron. He peered over the edge of the large, rusting pot, through the billowing gray smoke, and choked on the smell that immediately filled his nostrils: It reeked of burning hair.  
"Urgh!" Sirius groaned, backing away from the mess and waving smoke away from him. What the hell is wrong with this family? he thought as he made his way back to his bedroom. 


	2. Suffocation

Sirius got his long-anticipated reply from James the next day, much to his enjoyment. Now that his friend was back for the rest of the summer, he'd be free again - at least, to some extent. Staying with the Potters' was like a tradition, the ritual dating back to the summer before second year, and it was always the best two weeks of summer for Sirius.  
  
"Padfoot,  
New Zealand was boring. I'm sick of my mother insisting we go on these little 'trips' every year. Sorry to hear about the explosion. Don't say I didn't warn you about changing your courses - oh well, though. It's not the end of the world. Anyways, my parents are doing well. Dad has been extra anxious to get you over here since I told him what happened... It won't be long now.  
Mindless babble, isn't that what it's called? I thought you were used to shit like that from your brother. Live and learn, though, like I always say. Must take the good in with the bad. Yes, sometimes there's a bit of an unbalance and the bad seems to flood over the good, but things will improve. Take Wormtail for example... need I say more?  
I can't guarantee your life brightening up, but the rest of the summer sure as hell will - once you get your arse over here, that is. Hang in there.  
-- Prongs."  
  
The letter certainly cheered Sirius up, for the most part. He still kept himself locked away in his room as much as was possible, the thought of him leaving Grimmauld Place the only thing keeping him sane.  
Nearly five days had gone by with no word from James, and Sirius was beginning to feel his hope slip away. On the evening of the fourteenth, Sirius had gone back into his mindless state, hoping to be left in peace and forgotten at supper. But a loud, clanging bell made him jump and sit up, eyes wide. He leaped out of bed and ran to the window, drawing back the dark curtain in a flash and pressing his forehead to the glass to catch a glimpse of who was at the door.  
"Shit!" Sirius muttered, counting several black-haired people striding inside the house. His relatives had come. Sirius had hoped to escape before his mother had them over for their yearly visit while Sirius and Regulus weren't at Hogwarts.  
Sirius strolled over to his wardrobe, looking for something decent to change into. He'd been roaming around in sweats for the past few days, and he knew his mother would be chuffed to bits if he didn't look his best for company. Deciding not to go completely all-out, he grabbed his plainest black dress robes and pulled them overtop of his clothes. He took a quick look in the mirror to smooth his hair back as attractively as possible, and then marched downstairs to the entrance, where Regulus and Mr. Black were greeting the rest of the family.  
Sirius stood idly next to the old umbrella stand, dreading when he'd have to socializing with his relatives. The doorbell clanged again as Sirius's father was passing him on his was back upstairs.  
"Make yourself useful and answer that," he said quickly, jogging up the stairs.  
Sirius glared and went to open the door. Immediately staring back at him was a very attractive young woman, a few years older than Sirius. She was about half a foot shorter than him; had long, ink black hair, and dark makeup to match her depressed expression. She smiled quite brightly at Sirius.  
"Andromeda," Sirius nodded and grinned.  
"Hello, Sirius," she replied, reaching forward to give him a quick hug before coming inside. Following close behind was a younger girl of about thirteen, who was spiraling her blonde hair around her finger and walked past Sirius without even a note to his existence, and then and pretty girl around the same age as Sirius, who raised and eyebrow at him as she stepped in the doorway.  
"Bellatrix," Sirius said, doing a graceful, sarcastic bow and smirking at her.  
Bellatrix shot him a rueful smile and followed her sisters.  
Sirius's aunt and uncle entered as well, both smiling politely at their nephew but saying nothing. Sirius rolled his eyes and shut the door, praying no more Blacks would be arriving. He sat on the bottom step of the staircase, elbows on his knees and head held up in his hands, and watched his family talking together.  
A minute or so later, Andromeda approached Sirius and sat on the step next to him. "You're looking awfully gloomy," she said, folding her arms and looking around at the family just as cynically as Sirius was.  
"I wanted to match your mood," Sirius joked.  
"Touché," Andromeda grinned.  
"Is this another outcry against your parents' law enforcement?"  
"What?" Andromeda looked at Sirius, and noticed him looking her over. She looked down at the long, form-fitting black dress she wore, and fixed her posture a little, smoothing the silky material over her thighs and resting her hands on her knees.  
"It's a little... loud... isn't it?" Sirius said, eyeing her black nail polish.  
"Do you not like it?" Andromeda asked with a sassy smile, fluttering her long eyelashes.  
"It's just a bit dark," Sirius said honestly.  
"Hmm," she sounded, pulling a strand of dark hair that was in her eyes behind her ear. "My mum refused to let me work where I wanted, so while I'm still living with her and doing nothing with myself, I'm using a gothic appearance, which she hates, as a way to get back at her. I didn't think I'd end up liking it myself."  
Sirius nodded his understanding. "What was it that you wanted to do?" he asked, but before he could get an answer, his mother and father were making there way down the stairs. Sirius and Andromeda stood immediately. Mrs. Black eyed them suspiciously before clearing her throat and announcing to her guests that they could make their way down the hall to the banqueting hall for supper. Sirius and Andromeda waited for their family to drift into dining room before following.  
Sirius hated the dining room. It was a huge, high-ceilinged room featuring a long table that sat at least thirty people. There were portraits of Black ancestors covering the walls as well as antique tapestries, and three imposing chandeliers to light the room. The head of the table sat two people, where Sirius's parents were most obviously going to sit. Sirius made to sit next to his brother who was two seats down from Mrs. Black, Andromeda following him. Mrs. Black noticed Andromeda just about to sit in the seat next to her son and spoke up quickly.  
"Andromeda, dear, why don't you sit next to your sister?" she said, smiling and gesturing towards the empty spot next to Narcissa.  
Andromeda gave Sirius a fleeting look but knew it was pointless to protest, and sat on the opposite side of the table next to her little sister, looking gloomier than ever. Sirius's Uncle Alphard took the seat next to him instead, smiling cheerfully.  
Kreacher instantaneously went around serving the guests once they had all found their seats. Sirius noticed that he had a new addition to his wardrobe to make himself appear a little more formal: a small black sheet was wrapped around him like a toga. Kreacher got to Sirius and Uncle Alphard last, holding a tray with several silver glasses, some containing red wine, the others pumpkin juice.  
"Would Mister Alphard like a glass of wine?" Kreacher asked. Sirius thought he was acting a little cheesy and rolled his eyes.  
"Oh! No, thank you - just some juice is fine -" Uncle Alphard started.  
"Al, please!" Sirius's dad said, taking a sip from his own goblet. "Father left this one to me - the very best of his collection, mind you, not that tasteless stuff that thicker than blood that he drank daily. Please, I insist."  
Alphard smiled weakly and allowed Kreacher to set the wine down on his place set. Kreacher then pushed some of the pumpkin juice in Sirius's place and left swiftly to bring the food out.  
The family started talking again, this time led by Mr. Black, remarking about the items he got in the will and comparing his fortunes with his siblings. Alphard was one who did not join the conversation, and started muttering quietly. Sirius didn't know if he was speaking to him or not.  
"He knows I don't drink, always has known... Acts offended, too, when I don't take any wine. Pretends to be insulted when I don't drink it. Honestly, every year!" Alphard said. He made to grab his glass and skillfully swapped it with Sirius's, which sat quite near it, then drank from pumpkin juice instead.  
Sirius looked down at his lap to hide his grin. "Are you sure you want to be doing that? It won't be so bad to just not drink it - they'll slaughter you alive if they find out you gave it to me, though."  
"Aye," Alphard said, setting down his goblet and strumming his fingers on the table. "Drink it up, boy, and they'll never know the difference. Besides, you looked like you could use a drink."  
Dinner progressed, the same talk about family heirlooms going on. Sirius examined everyone as he ate and drank, not listening to their worthless banter. Narcissa ate very little, frowning upon everything Kreacher set in front of her and complaining frantically to her mother. Andromeda ate less than her sister, leaning back casually in her chair and drinking her third glass of wine. Bellatrix was talking heatedly to her aunt about the rights of purebloods, both in agreement Muggle borns shouldn't be treated with what respect they do earn. Sirius caught her eye a few times, smirking at her and getting a glare in return. Regulus was talking pompously to his aunt about his goals for the future.  
Sirius shook his head to himself and pushed his plate a few inches away from him. It must've been the impact of having more uptight family members around him, but he felt sick and out of place. He was even more disgusted after dinner, when dessert was served and the wine glasses replenished, when his father purposed a toast. The entire family raised their glasses and chanted together "Toujours pur." Sirius rolled his eyes and said nothing, noticing two others doing the same as him: Andromeda, who shot a nasty look at her mother, and, to Sirius's surprise, Uncle Alphard. 


End file.
